If You’re Going to Grow a Quarantine Mustache, Listen Up

If You’re Going to Grow a Quarantine(ˈkwôrənˌtēn) Mustache(ˈməsˌtaSH), Listen Up

The author of Men and Style(stīl) has grooming(ˈɡro͞omiNG) advice for men in isolation.

By David Coggins

Of all the worthy projects to tackle(ˈtak(ə)l) during quarantine, the one with the least chance of resulting in real self-improvement is the introduction of a new mustache.

Imagine a thick(THik) ’stache, and chances are you think of the 1970s and open-necked(nek) shirts possibly revealing(rəˈvēliNG) gold medallions(məˈdalyən) nesting(ˈnestiNG) in a swath(swäTH, swôTH) of chest(CHest) hair(her). These outlaw associations are one reason we rarely(ˈrerlē) see a powerful American with one. Can you envision(ənˈviZHən) a presidential(ˌprezəˈden(t)SH(ə)l) candidate(ˈkandiˌdāt, ˈkandidət) with a mustache? He’d sooner admit(ədˈmit) he was an atheist(ˈāTHēəst).

But for some men, such low odds(ädz) of pulling it off only heighten(ˈhītn) the mustache’s louche(lo͞oSH) mystique(miˈstēk). It appeals(əˈpēl) to the part of a man that wants to buy a motorcycle(ˈmōdərˌsīk(ə)l). A good one conveys(kənˈvā) a sense of fearlessness while offering a man a vacation from himself.

Time away from friends can provide the push some guys need to embrace(əmˈbrās) a more adventurous(adˈven(t)SHərəs) side. Growing a large beard(ˈbird), with its dignified(ˈdiɡnəˌfīd) tradition(trəˈdiSH(ə)n) of Civil(ˈsiv(ə)l) War generals(ˈjen(ə)rəl) and Russian(ˈrəSHən) novelists(ˈnävələst), is a natural impulse(ˈimˌpəls). But the full Tolstoy(ˈtōlstoi) doesn’t fit inside the masks we’re now advised to wear in public.

At the onset of social distancing, I was on a FaceTime call with a friend and thought I detected a provocative(prəˈväkədiv) bit of growth emerging(əˈmərjiNG) through his stubble(ˈstəb(ə)l). “Is that a mustache?” I asked eagerly(ˈēɡərlē), as if spotting a rare(rer) bird. “It’s not not a mustache,” he replied(rəˈplī) cryptically(ˈkriptək(ə)lē). Perhaps he couldn’t acknowledge the scope of what he was attempting.

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https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-04-22/grooming-tips-for-growing-coronavirus-mustache-during-quarantine